dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
how does that bad decision feel?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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