I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
