He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
