have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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