Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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