if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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