Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
