once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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