No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Randomize
