I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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