tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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