he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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