ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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