I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
