I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
His hands were made for my vagina.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
