dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
a search helicopter?!
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
