Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
