sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
