duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just had sex on a roof
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
