that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
