Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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