how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Randomize
