I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
