I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
