so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize