Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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