So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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