i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
