my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
