i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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