I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
