Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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