it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Of course I have a pirate flag
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I party with great urgency now.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
