I wish I could punch you in the face.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
