i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
last night I used snow as a chaser
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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