i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
