Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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