hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
