how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
