dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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