Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
