I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
