If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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