Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
