I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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