Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
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Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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