why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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