Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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