If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We need to get me chipped asap
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
