So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
