I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
we made out on top of his cat.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
