so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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