I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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