Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
It's shark week go big or go home
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
