I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
