I want to walk on stilts...naked
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
FUCK WHALES
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