I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You have to summon your inner elephant
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
