Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
