I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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