i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
