His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
