I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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