There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
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