U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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