I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
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I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
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Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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