I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I just cut my nipple shaving
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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